If I have to drag my butt to a 9am class, so do you. I don't want to be mean and stop posting my slides, since I don't want people to feel they need to copy down everything, but maybe I need to do so?
I really need to figure out what's next after grad school.

I don't know if I want to teach, but I am starting to think I'd really miss being around undergrads, at least occasionally. Now that I've got my feet under me with teaching, marking, and being friendly but at the same time respected, I really like dealing with them. I especially like teaching smart and keen students something technical, or mathematical. It reminds me both how much I've learned over the years, and also how much I have left to learn.

Research is getting to be more fun now I've got a better basis of understanding too. I have a lousy grasp of what's publishable, and I'm lousy at getting my paperwork to progress done. But being a grad student is a hell of a lot of fun. I'm almost going to miss it when I finish and start to make grown-up money again.

Financially, I'm never going to make up the hit for going back to school, and most of the jobs I'm newly (almost) qualified for will pay less than my former career path. But for some reason, I still think it's worth it. I know different kinds of math than I did in undergrad, a lot more statistics. I somehow can manage to be an authority to a room full of 19-year-old male CS majors, in a way that sometimes freaks me out. Maybe I'm just more confident in my own knowledge and skills now. Maybe they could smell my self-doubt before. Maybe I just project better.

I'm rambling. I wish I knew what, career-wise, I wanted to do next. Mathy government job? Post-doc and chase a professor position? Straightforward lecturer position? One of the fascinating research jobs I've seen posted? It's taken four years back in school, but I've somehow moved from feeling like I have few or no options, to feeling like I have a tonne of great ones. And I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

This isn't nearly angst-y enough for livejournal/dreamwidth. And I have a few hurdles to clear before I'm done my PhD. But for some reason, I've turned a corner and everything seems possible.
I'm carolynm. I'm trying to crosspost this to livejournal. Hello!
Anybody want to come? I might run off the week after next, but late July and on the mosquitoes are not too bad.

I think I have a full second set of gear, possibly even a third.
Look, today, February 12th at http://google.ca Then look at http://google.com

If you are re-directed, check the link.

Notice the missing doodle?
It's relatively warm out, around -4C, with snow coming down. Traffic is pretty horrible, but it's really nice to walk in.

This is the winter I would miss if I moved somewhere warm.
For unknown reasons, I woke up in the middle of the night with a strange need to remember multivariate calculus. I lay in the dark remembering the definition of an integral, a few proofs about partial derivatives, and ways to integrate along a curve. It seems to all still be there, though my standards are probably lower at 2am.

I have no clue what this means. All I know is that I woke out of a dream where this seemed vitally important. Apparently my subconscious still likes math.
Stolen from Len because I'm stalling - I'll do this and go home. I was wondering about my count - I read a lot of weird stuff as a teenager, including everything that remotely appealed on the library shelf. Or my grandfather's shelf, or a friend's shelf, or the bookstore shelf...

The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed. Well let's see.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Put an asterisk next to the books you'd rather shove hot pokers in your eyes than read
5) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them ;-)

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible
(not all at once, but I've been through it all)
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens (I had a Dickens phase - read them all)
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott (I was about seven? Didn't like it much. Maybe I should try again)

12. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller (Ou sont les Neigedens d'antan?)
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare (Own it)
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier (Kind of meh)
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19. The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot

21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy (Took a few tries and I skipped a bit in the middle)
25. The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis (this is way more than one book)
34. Emma - Jane Austen

35. Persuasion - Jane Austen (Gave up on Austen before I got to this on)
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis (Hey, this is part of 33!)
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell

42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown (Shockingly, no)
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery (My dad's from PEI - it was compulsory :))
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding

50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens (It is a far far better thing I do...)
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck (Made me cry when I was 15 and we read it in class)
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville (I'll admit to skipping some of the seafaring details)
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
(In french only)
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens (At least I did love it)
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro (Loved the movie)
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert (In french only)
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry (Broke my heart a little)
87. Charlotte's Web - EB White

88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom *
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (I've read all the novels and stories)
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery (in french and english - translation is pretty good)

93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare (wait a second...wasn't the complete works there somewhere?)
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
(Only in french, I think? I don't remember now.)

OK, that's 56? I think. If there were more recent books, I wouldn't look as well read.
Well isn't that just perfect. Maybe I can bike to swimming tomorrow. I pick up the motorcycle on Monday, but I didn't really want to ride downtown every day, especially not if a lot of extra people are driving.


After you die...
Unstuck in Time

After death, you will become unstuck in time, and re-live various moments of your life. Time will cease to exist. One moment you will be learning to catch butterflies, the next you will be using your walker to go to the bathroom. You will live on forever in this way, constantly reliving the sweetest and not so sweetest of moments.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

I spent over an hour trying to find out why a simple little bit of prolog didn't work right on my laptop, while it did on my desktop. Turns out that I cut and pasted from a pdf, so that my quote wasn't really a quote, so my string wasn't really a string, and so on. This did not occur to me. This was a trivial little bit of prolog for a tutorial this afternoon.

OK, take away to computer from me, I've shown I'm not smart enough to use it :)
[Error: unknown template qotd]

Various bicycles at Waterloo. And the contents of my car - thankfully much was recovered, but my bagpipes, dancing sword, radio, and various other bags of gym stuff and etc were stolen with my car and not recovered with it.

Oh, and the same car three times - but I got it back.
Len's playing piano upstairs. It's sort of a version of REM's "Everybody Hurts", with a lot of extra arpeggios. I asked him if it was "Everybody Hurts" or "Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring" - I really wasn't sure. Usually he ends up playing endless repetitions of "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen, or recently, an REM song on my newest CD, "Nightswimming". It's all by ear - he has a thing for harmonies.

I'm drinking a glass of port. I should be doing coding theory or natural language computing, but I'm not. Everybody needs a day off from time to time, and the pope says I get today.

Now it's "Vincent" that he's playing - Don McLean.
If you, by chance, decide to do some running sprints on a treadmill, at a pace you can maybe run 2-3 minutes (and maybe can't, since you've been slacking), and also decide to sprint on alternate songs on your mp3 player, rather than figure out the treadmill controls, you should know whether or not you have any particularly long songs, and consider either changing your pace or skipping the song.

The "rest" songs came up as early (short) Beetles songs. The sprints were "I Shot the Sherrif", "Benny and the Jets", and "Stand by Me", all arrangements about five minutes.

Leading to Today's second lesson - my maximum heart rate is certainly above the charts maximum for my age, as I hit about 205 at the end of the third sprint.

At least "Hey Jude" didn't come up.

Back to my coding theory assignment, hopefully to be done in time for free dinner with the potential new students.
My train yesterday was over half an hour late - I was over 10 minutes early. -18C plus wind on a wide open platform. Not fun.

I wore the full winter gear today. Probably overkill.

Snow day :)

Feb. 1st, 2008 01:47 pm
I took the train in this morning, to attend a class and give back some assignments, but not long after I got in, classes were canceled, the volunteer dinner for Pathways was cancelled, and I decided to slog back home.

I was kind of irritated, but it sort of evaporated walking home from the bus. I really love this kind of winter weather, warm (relatively!) and snowy, and the way it covers up all the dirt and dinginess. It's the part of winter I really remember from being a little kid, and there's still something about it I find captivating.

I guess I should make some popcorn and hot chocolate, and work on my presentation for tomorrow, which might well be postponed (projects from a class in the fall). And turn the heat up to the "people home" level.
I'm teaching a tutorial on formal language theory tomorrow.

I hope I remember what that is.
It's snowing now. It's coming down in those perfect, big fluffy flakes. My back yard is covered in a blanket of fluffy stuff,without a single footprint on it.

I really want to find my snowsuit and go walk in the park. I want to drag out my box of christmas stuff, and put up some lights and a tree, and sip hot chocolate while I watch the candle my mother-in-law gave me burn down to its December 4th mark. Maybe I could butcher a little music on the violin. I'd love to be skiing, either cross-country or downhill, through this fluff.

What I really don't want to do is finish my model checking assignment, or write my ubiquitous computing project report.

Guess I'll just make another pot of coffee, and promise myself a day in the snow next week sometime. Or I'll bring my skates in, and go to Nathan Philips' Square after I finish my demo on Friday. I'll put the lights up on Saturday or something.

OK, back to work. Really.
I have to present a project tomorrow - and it's only sort of almost maybe done. And I have a huge amount of work yet to do on a theory assignment, which I have barely looked at. Then there's a project which is supposed to take two weeks of effort, plus some "negotiation", using various modeling tools I really don't know, that I can start when this is all done. I'm hoping I don't have to give more than one day to marking exams, but fortunately that's likely.

I really wanted to take a couple weeks off over Christmas, but I keep counting to "almost next term" with what I have left to do. I've been working weekends, and it just doesn't do it for me. I wanted to do a little more reading to decide if I want to take on a project my supervisor suggested, or refine another idea.

Ugh, back to powerpoint, and trying to refine some scattered ideas. Somebody take me out somewhere soon.

Though it's a decent kind of stress - I'm enjoying much of what I do, and hopefully, I'll feel a little less lost soon.


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